Silverado Hospice LIFE Lines: The Last New Friend

As I entered the house I was acutely aware of my surroundings, I was entering sacred ground. My training and clearance were complete and I was now a Silverado Hospice volunteer. Remember, I told myself, active listening, wash your hands, wear you’re your name tag and be sensitive of where the patient and family are emotionally.

My memories of being with terminally-ill patients – as a nurse 25 years ago – came flooding back. However, this would be a different role and I was humbled to be a part of this patient’s life transition.

It struck me as I entered the hallway that I was in what was commonly referred to as the “living room,” but was it still appropriate to call it that? My patient was lying on her reclining chair, wrapped in a blanket and looking frail, but definitely alert.

“Hi I’m Dorothy, your hospice volunteer,” I said in a soft voice as our eyes met. She introduced herself with her nickname, Betty, which immediately put me at ease. As she reached out her hand, I was struck by the sharp contrast of the color of our skin, chocolate and vanilla I thought to myself. She was quite lovely, bright pink scarf wrapped around her head and beautiful bright smile, but very weak and ill.

Over the coming weeks we covered a lot of ground chatting about raising children, surviving divorce, cooking at the holidays… radiation and even chemotherapy – I am a cancer survivor. But mostly we spoke of God and what He has done in our lives. As we both shared the same faith, we were able to pray and read the Bible together. Our visits were rich and engaging and I hope she looked forward to them as much as I did. We truly felt that it was a divine appointment that brought us together.

As my director of volunteer services would say, “I would be my Betty’s last new friend.”

I would soon learn that there is a thin line between denial and faith. She was well aware of her terminal illness, but she was not ready to go. “I’m on hospice for my children she would say… It makes them feel better… But God is the great healer, and I have more work to do.” Slowly she became weaker, and it became apparent that she had completed her mission in life.

Today, I was able to say good-bye to my special friend. I thank her for the wisdom and inspiration that she had instilled in me. I lit a beautiful white candle, with a cross on it, in her remembrance.

A short while later my husband runs upstairs and proclaims, “The strangest thing just happened! A strong whirlwind just pushed the back door open and an unusually cool breeze entered the house.”

Oh, I said with a smile that’s just Betty coming to say good-bye.

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