Those with an aging loved one know the challenges of going away as well as the emotional burden that is felt when that loved one is not able to come along. The emotion and guilt felt by the caregiver is even worse when their loved one suffers from a memory-impairing condition.
So how can you make time for yourself and still ensure that your memory-impaired loved one feels safe and secure?
Depending on your loved one’s level of care you may choose to:
- Coordinate support from friends and family
- Arrange for in-home assistance
- Or choose a short-term respite stay within a community setting
It is also important to leave your loved one surrounded by things that are familiar to their long-term memory. For example, objects representative of their life and past accomplishments; photographs of loved ones and of themselves in earlier years; and even music that takes them back to what they remember as a better time.
Incorporating these elements is always important, but even more so when you are away because they can trigger fond memories and instill a sense of safety and security. This approach will also give the interim caregiver a point of reference, to be able to engage your loved one with a conversation or activity based on the things that they can still remember and are most passionate about.
You can also prepare hand-written notes for each day that you are gone and arrange for them to be “delivered” in your absence. Letters that explain where you are going, when you will return, and the experience that you will share with them upon return, can go a long way toward establishing your peace of mind and also give your loved one a sense of vicarious excitement and anticipation.
With these strategies you can help your loved one adjust to a short-term environment, as well as decrease your risk of caregiver burnout.
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